Nicole Scherzinger
Circle I Limbo

Rednecks
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Ke$ha
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

The Situation
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Scientologists
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Nancy Pelosi
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Cam Newton
Circle VII Burning Sands

The New York Yankees
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Nicole Scherzinger
Circle I Limbo

Rednecks
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Ke$ha
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

The Situation
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Scientologists
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Nancy Pelosi
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Cam Newton
Circle VII Burning Sands

The New York Yankees
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Readers...

So, I just found the stats option on here where you can tell where your audience is from...

People from China, Israel and all kinds of places have read this thing! Crazy!

Readers form Denmark....family maybe?

Readers from Belgium...I was born there. :)

Pretty cool.

I didn't think people actually read this.

Sorry the posts are so down lately. Hopefully they'll pick up once school starts slowing back down a little bit.

Can't.

I've never said this before and truly meant it.

But right now, I can't.

I literally cannot.

I literally do not have enough time.

Not enough hours, even if I stay up all night.

I need outside hinderances and issues to leave me alone.

I want MY life back.

I want my grades back.

I want peace of mind.

But I can't.

It's all out of my hands at this point.

I want to control this.

I can't control this.

Even worse.

I should feel sad.

But I can't.

......

Every time I think I've hit rock bottom and can ascend towards the light, I get yanked downward even further.

I've been so incredibly happy. I've met amazing people that are exactly what I need right now. I know God placed them in my life for a reason. I was feeling so encouraged and positive. I love my roommates. I met a nice guy (GASP!). My family is amazing. And then these random turns of events make me crash hard from the highs.

I can't keep doing this. I can't. I'm so tired. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I sit at my computer and stare at my homework, willing it to be done, but not possessing the will to do it. I'm trying not to be dramatic or attention seeking. I'm trying to rationalize why I feel this way. It is not warranted. I should not feel this way. I don't want to force my problems on to other people. I want to figure it out. But I am so tired.

I don't want to be alone. I woke up today from a nap and no one was here. I don't know why that bothered me so much. But I just left because I couldn't stand being alone. Chris met me for dinner. He knew something was wrong. This isn't like me. I am NOT this girl. This isn't a usual stunt that I pull. I'm not begging for people to look at me. I'm begging life to cut me a break and let it be my turn to breathe.

I'm confused with church. I don't know what to think. I love Jesus. I believe in God. WHY DO PEOPLE DOUBT THIS?!?!? MY DATING A GUY DOES NOT EQUAL ABANDONING JESUS. My feelings about the church were stirring long before a guy ever came into the picture. I've been trying and trying and pushing and fighting to get into 'the group'. I can't. Fine, I will go try somewhere else, but I need to catch my breath and get some fight back in me. I'm spiritually exhausted. I can't just dive into all over again right off the bat. I'm jaded. I know that's bad. Guess what? I'M HUMAN. JUST LIKE YOU. I'm going to find a church. Quite honestly, it's not just my doubt in the church right now. I don't have time. Between school, clubs and situations out of my control, sometimes I can't make it on Wednesdays. I'm trying to choose between the lesser of two evils and decide what I really need the most in my life right now. Jesus and God are number one, as always. But hey, sleep is important. I can't remember the last time I got a night's sleep that constituted more than 4 hours. In the past week, I have gotten maybe 40 hours of sleep. I'm not putting things before God. I'm trying to find the right balance. I'm not perfect. I'm growing, changing and learning. I'm tested and challenged every day. I'm becoming my own person. I don't need outside judgement. Especially from the church. I'm already burned. I don't need that scar reopened. It's a big scar. I don't know what would happen to me if it was opened again.

I don't want my parents to worry. I know they will to an extent because they are my parents, but I want them to know that this is a rough patch. This is not who I am. I have not become a depressed person. I'm just going through an extended phase of life that has been very hard and is wearing on me. I'm learning to be an adult and it is an arduous process.

I miss Louis. I'm tired. I need food. I'm going to go dance ridiculously with my roommates and go to Taco Bell. I'm going to leave the issues behind for a few hours and be a 19 year old college student.

My Body Refuses to Stop

Took my bio test this morning...I'm feeling either an A or B. There were 9 out of 50 questions that I wasn't 100% on, and only 2 of those were complete guesses. I was more prepared than I thought. Thank goodness.

I also remembered at midnight that I had a five paragraph escritura due in Spanish today. Beast moded through that one, too. P.S. Got a 91 on my Intrevista. Not too shabby, I suppose.

Now I've gotta study for APR 260 and SP 201 tests. I can't really catch a break lately with school...I don't understand why. I only have 14 hours. My professors just keep tacking on more work than was listed in the syllabi.

I haven't gotten more than 5 hours of sleep for the past five nights. That means that in the past 120 hours, I've had maybe 25 hours of not-so-quality sleep. My schedule is off. Daytime=sleeptime in my body clock for some reason. Preparing for Spain? I have no idea. I think my body is trying to overcompensate for lack of sleep...trying to condition itself to going without rest. You know you've hit rock bottom when your body just quits trying to tell you it's tired and refuses to sleep for fear of having to wake up too soon...

Whoever keeps plugging in their router is about to get a rude awakening from me...if my internet goes down one more time...

I miss taking pictures. I think I'm going to try to post a picture a day. Maybe it will be a different blog entirely. Who knows? It's something I enjoy and I don't want to lose it. And my baby Canon is feeling neglected. (Yes, dad I know. I am going to put it to good use. As if I haven't already...*cough*multiple front page stories*cough*)

I don't miss home.

Weird. Of course I miss my family, but as far as the 251, not so much. It doesn't really feel like 'home'. I'm ready to keep progressing with life. Every time I go back it almost feels like a speed bump. It's not that I don't want to go home on the weekends, but it kind of is at the same time. I want to see my family. I hurt to see my family. But, I don't want to go back to Baldwin County. It takes up so much time and focus. I think I'm scared of getting stuck...

Skipping rock climbing today. I need to get a physical and do some paperwork for study abroad. I also am not comfortable belaying anyone in my current mental state. Exhaustion+belaying device+person's life in my hands=disastrous.

OMG DAD LOOK! I'M BLOGGING AGAIN!

Well. It's been what, two months? It's October. Life is absolutely wonderfully and beautifully insane. College has been such a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. I'm loving every minute of it. I know that I'm becoming an adult. I'm dealing with 'grown-up' issues. My next birthday, I blow out 20 candles. The teenage years are gone for me. I don't know whether to be sad or excited...I'm a little bit of both.

I'm gaining more and more direction in my life. My little stint with pre-med was short lived. Who saw that coming besides the entire world? I met a man from the US Dept. of Foreign Services and am strongly considering going into some sort of international relations field. Whether it be working with the military or government on an embassy somewhere, I really feel like that's something I could make a living out of and thoroughly enjoy. But, as we know, I tend to go wherever the wind blows. I'll let you know my revamped plans next week...

I'm not working for the CW right now. I have entirely too much on my plate. THis post is actually further procrastination on my part. I'm avoiding my responsibilities. I've got a bunch of papers and tests this week...and it's Homecoming week so I have ten glorious hours of pomping to do. I love being involved....:/

Loving my roommates and friends. I have so much fun everyday. I live with my best friends who are now like family to me. It's such a blessing that I thank God for everyday.

Speaking of God...kind of struggling with church and religion these days. Not God. I love Him, we talk everyday and I read my Bible. We're cool. I mean, He sent His son to die for me and cleanse my soul, how could I not fall in love with Him daily? Church, though. Not so great right now. I understand that there is spiritual warfare in this world, but I feel like all I'm catching lately is friendly fire. I'm being judged for no reason. I'm not accepted in the cliques. Whether they realize it or not, the people involved in this 'all-inclusive body of believers' have been pushing me away while I have been trying to push in. It's a daily struggle to not let these emotions overflow into my feelings about God. Humans are not perfect and they make mistakes. It's not God's fault. I don't want the speeches about how I need Christian fellowship. I am aware. I know these things. Right now, I need space to breathe and detox. I've gotta get the poisonous anger out of my system before I'll be ready to tackle church again. No worries. I'm still me. I'm just finding my own way...

I'm continually amazed by how God places people in my life at the perfect moments. I've met so many new people. One person is...well...pretty awesome, and I can't wait to continue getting to know him. I'll just let you fill in the blanks on that one.

Big news...I'M GOING TO SPAIN NEXT SEMESTER! Unless something goes horribly wrong with payments and paperwork this week, I will be studying Spanish Language and Literature at the University of Valencia during my spring semester. Finally studying abroad...I cannot even begin to express how ecstatic I am. I'm also pretty nervous. I hope I can do it...I mean, I hope I don't freak out and have to come home or something or totally fail at the language. Only time will tell!

Well, now I'm super distracted between skyping and chatting with people. I think I have wasted a sufficient amount of time. I've gotta hit the books so I can ace a bio exam and Spanish escritura tomorrow.

As always, I hope to write more, but I make no promises as I so often break them.

Roll Tide.

The Latest Feature in the CW...

Soooo...I haven't been updating this summer at all. I know, I'm terrible. But here's the latest story I wrote for the CW. I'll be updating on this summer later. It's been absolutely incredible and such a blessing. I've been having the time of my life. I'll be leaving for Honduras this weekend so I'm sure I'll have some great posts to come after that. I have so much to catch this blog up on...I'll work on it while I'm in PCB before I go back to Tuscaloosa. In the mean time....enjoy my latest journalistic endeavor!




As a dockhand at the Gulf Shores Marina in Fort Morgan, I have seen the effects of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill firsthand. I can’t even begin to describe the helplessness I have felt while watching the coastlines I love become tainted by tarballs and oil slicks. For a while, I couldn’t even stand to watch the news. I got so aggravated with all of the “talking” and “planning” by BP and the government. I was ready to see something done. I wanted attention and awareness. I wanted action.

During one of my afternoon breaks in early June, I went upstairs to soak up some AC and talk to my co-worker, Carlee Griffin. We talked about how sick we were of empty promises from BP. Our home was being destroyed. It felt like the entire Gulf Coast was screaming for help, but the rest of the world just turned away. Carlee suggested organizing a benefit concert. I liked the idea, but had no clue how to plan anything like it. We decided to begin our grassroots efforts on Facebook. The massive social media site connects millions of people and has helped in launching political campaigns and numerous awareness groups. It was a start. We sent invitations to all of our friends, hoping that someone would know someone with a venue, a band or funding. The first day we gained more than 2,500 members; within the next three weeks, it exploded to more than 55,000 members.

Our group was growing faster than we anticipated. We received hundreds of emails from local bands, but still had no venue. The pressure to get something done, and done fast, was extremely overwhelming. We had requests for major headliners, especially Jimmy Buffett, that we had no way of contacting, but we wouldn’t give up. We didn’t want to let our supporters down. We emailed everyone we could possibly think of.

I decided to take a long shot and email Huka Entertainment, the company responsible for creating and promoting the Hangout Music Festival in Gulf Shores in May, to ask for their help. One week later I received an email from one of Huka’s executives that changed everything: “Thank you for your interest in helping the Gulf Coast. Huka now has something in the works and is watching your Facebook page. I would like to have a coordinated campaign going across your page.” The email went on to detail the concert line-up, which included none other than Mr. Jimmy Buffett.

The next two weeks were filled with emails, phone calls and Facebook updates. Our Facebook page became a means of communication between Huka and the public. We notified our members of the bands to be performing, times and places to order tickets, and even organized a carpooling system.

The 35,000 free tickets were all claimed in less than 6 minutes. The benefit concert was finally taking shape. There was a nearly tangible reward for all of our hard work.
There were some minor setbacks along the way. The concert was postponed 10 days because of Hurricane Alex. The Zac Brown Band and Kenny Chesney had to pull out of the line-up because of previously scheduled commitments.

On July 11, however, the public beach in Gulf Shores was packed with Parrotheads and tourists. Buffett gave a great performance and brought much needed encouragement to the Gulf Coast locals. Buffett’s island tunes could be heard nearly a mile away from the venue. It was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I will never forget. I was proud to know that I played a small part in promoting the event.

The goal of our Facebook group was to raise awareness surrounding the oil spill and to support the Gulf’s tourism-based economy. Hopefully, the support for the Gulf will continue to pour in. Our beaches are still beautiful and we are working around the clock to keep them that way.
The Gulf Coast needs your continued support. Huka Entertainment has a few more concerts in the works. Though details have yet to be released, you can visit our Facebook page, Gulf Coast Oil Spill Benefit Concert, to stay updated on all of the benefit efforts along the Gulf Coast.

Hopefully This Will End Up in the CW

Gulf Coast Residents Face Uncertainty

Jim Burkhart, a representative of the Bon Secour Wildlife Refuge, said that the Gulf Coast oil recovery process is going to be long and drawn out, but that residents are strong, capable, and

up to the challenge. "The people here are extremely resilient. It's been encouraging. They know we're facing a daunting task, but they're willing to do anything," said Burkhart.

Mobile residents Sandee Kelly and Debbie Clark were willing to continue vacationing on the beach, even as tarballs washed onto the shore. "The businesses need us and our money. We're staying here until someone tells us we're not allowed to or that it isn't safe," said Kelly. “If we stop coming here, who knows what will happen to the economy.” Realty agencies, souvenir s

hops and other ecotourism businesses are pleading with tourists to continue visiting the white sand beaches.

Other businesses are adapting to salvage profits. The Gulf Shores Marina at Fort Morgan would typically be entering its peak season this month. It was expected to be a record year for fishing, but now, all state and federal waters are closed to fishing. The Marina

now caters to contracted BP workers by providing fuel for the boats and slips to dock in at night. They have also altered operations in the dock store by stocking energy drinks, work gloves, and many other essential items for the BP workers. Manager and UA alum Jason Pepperman says he will do all he can to keep the Marina in operation. “I look at it like every other challenge I face: we’ve gotta figure out a way to survive through it. I have to recognize what opportunities are out there and make decisions to move forward. I’d love to tell you what exactly is going to happen, but I just don’t know,” said Pepperman.

Through the uncertainty of what is to come, many seasonal visitors and citizens are left wondering what will become of their lifestyles. Birmingham native Sonja Daniel donned a gas mask while sunbathing to poke fun at the situation, but became emotional when asked how she felt about the uncertainty surrounding how long it will take to clean the tarred coastline: "I've been coming here since I was 3 years old. I'm 46 now. This may take 20 years to clean up. What if I don't have 20 years? They're taking away my youth. This may never be the same in my lifetime, so I'll be here everyday until I can't anymore."

CW

Tomorrow, I will have my first photograph (^^^ that one) published in the Crimson White! To most people it may not be a big deal, but I am very excited. I'm also covering the Show Choir performance tomorrow night AND I got put on the list for Sports Writing. Journalism just makes me so happy. *contented sigh* I love it. At the top are some other shots I got that I really like.

Info, Lies and other Things News Related

I keep making promises to write more. I keep breaking those promises. So, no more promises and maybe I will be able to maintain the blog more. In the mean time, I will once again try to catch everything up Cliff Notes style...

I must be honest. A lot has happened in my life...I think that's why I've been putting off the update edition for so long...

Well, as my freshman year of college is coming to a close, I am left to ponder the great questions of life: which beach will I spend my time at? Which movies do I want to see this summer? Exactly how late will I allow myself to sleep in?

Lies. All lies.

I really am facing some tough questions and epiphanies. Internships, jobs, freelance writing...it's all very overwhelming. I need experience, and I need money. A job this summer is not optional since I need to save up for Ireland in the spring. (I cannot believe that is less than one year away...holy cow) I'm sending my resume everywhere. Hopefully my dedication to the search will pay off. I want to freelance this summer. I need to build up my portfolio. I may job shadow with the BayBears for a few days (Pensacola Pelicans never called back about the internship...I figure it's just as well. I have more time to make more money and do other things.)

Those are some of the tough questions. Now onto the juicy, meaty stuff: the epiphanies.

1.) Home. This is a very relative and almost foreign term to me now. Home is where the heart is never made sense until now. I also know that my heart is in two places. It's hard to balance. Loxley isn't home anymore. My house and family are home, but Loxley is not. I love the beach. I love Baldwin County. Growing up there was a great experience that I am happy to have had. But in all honesty, there is nothing there for me considering what I want to do with my life. Tuscaloosa is semi-home. It's where I live my life. It's where my friends are. It's where I spend 9 months out of the year. However, after college, this is not where I will be. It's a strange, strange feeling. It's like I'm just living wherever the wind blows me.

2.) Friends. I now put a new definition beside this term. I live with my best friends. They are my family. The love and loyalty we have for each other is incredible. I cannot compare them with the old friends from back home. It's a totally different situation and a comparison isn't even fair. I don't know how I'm going to handle going back to Loxley. It's going to be a very emotional day when I leave T-town. I'm sure I will be fine this summer. I haven't divorced my old friends. They'll be there like always, but these days, all the old friends are growing up. As we grow up, we go in different directions. It's how life goes. I'm not really close with them anymore. We've all changed. I'm experiencing more of life as are they. I really don't know how things are going to go. I'm not depressed, I'm just growing up and apart from the old days. I'm talking in circles and I don't want any friends from home to be upset by this. It's growing pains. we all still love each other and I'm sure we'll hang out just like old times. But over the previous breaks you could already tell the difference in all of us. I'm not choosing my T-town friends over you. I'm not replacing you. These things just happen as you grow up. That's the best way I know how to put it. We will always be friends-we just won't always be the same.

3.) Growing up. Painful. Exciting. Amazing. Crappy. Necessary. Slow. Fast. All of these things combined are what I'm feeling-at once. College is amazing. These ARE the best years of my life and I intend on living them to the fullest and taking advantage of every opportunity I get. Sometimes I seem all over the place. I don't want to miss anything. I want to live with no regrets. At my funeral, I want there to be no stone left unturned. I want to do it, live it, experience it all. Skydive, cliff jump, watch a movie outside, study on the quad, road trip, baseball games, football games, swim meets, make friends, lose friends, love, heartbreak, explore, adventure, write, take too many pictures, laugh too loud, run down the halls, swim at night. This is what college is about. I'm trying it all. Trial and error. The end result will be me in my purest and rawest form. Me will be awesome.

Geeeeeeez. I've got to stop rambling. Really quickly, here's the headline newsfeed update of the details of my life:

-Pickett hired on as Crimson White Photographer/Contributing Writer

-A-Day Game is a Smash

Students Realize their Passion for the Game and Love for their School

-The Agonizing Duty of Being a Red Sox Fan Begins

-Champ Survives Hardest Week of College Career

Averaging 4 hours of sleep a night, she aces the tests and makes the grades

-Spring Retreat in Destin Results in Spiritual Growth and Tanlines

Aight. It's lunch time people. Peace out.

Da Champs

Tonight I was able to experience the rush of a great win again. It seems to come par for the course being a student at UA.

One of my great friends in Tuscaloosa, Kelvin Williams, helped his team earn the championship title of intramural basketball. It was a great game. The players were very physical and vocal which made it even more fun for our fan section. Most of the fans were there for Da Champs...Kelvin had his own section of about 15.

The majority of the game was pretty standard. Two points here, three points there. Throw in a few fouls and some testosterone induced temper tantrums and there you have it. When the last few minutes of the second half ticked down, though, it was just a three point game with Da Champs in the lead. The crimson clad players gave their all and maintained their lead--Kelvin got in some last minute free throws and helped to maintain the lead. Then, the black team was fouled and received two free throws. At this point, our entire section was standing. One look and slight gesture from Kelvin resulted in a massive eruption of screaming. The player missed the shots. **I knew our loud skills would be useful one day.

Da Champs were then in possession of the ball and let the clock wind down to zero. All of our 'little white girls' ran to give Kelvin a congratulatory group hug. It was a great moment for all of us. We were all so proud of 'our' Kelvin. He's always there for us. In him we have a shoulder to cry on, hands to help carry bags to our cars, height to reach the top cabinets, and a heart that loves us and our craziness. He's a great guy and we loved seeing him have his shining moment.

We may look odd walking down the street; it's not every day you see one tall black guy with 10 white girls. But what's really unique is what we have that you can't see. It's a bond not many people experience. I love my Tuscaloosa brothers and sisters. We may be a strange group, but it's that one-of-a-kindness that I love so much.

I can only end this with a Roll Tide. :)

More Reasons to Love the Red Sox...

So I know this is an old story, but I haven't been writing to I've gotta update everything. I will now be taking my Garciapara jersey out of the closet. I'll actually probably wear it for opening day. What a classy guy.

**Background: After fourteen seasons, Garciapara signed a one day contract with the Red Sox and then retired. He had to wear the uniform one more time and finish his career where he was most loved. Here's a link to the story.

http://www.usatoday.com/communities/dailypitch/post/2010/03/nomar-garciaparra-retires----as-a-red-sox/1

Never Going that Long Without a Post Again

SO many things to cover in this entry. I have no clue how I let an entire month go by without writing a single thing. This week the posts will more than likely be sporadic as I try to fill in the blanks to connect my last posts to now. Yikes.

First off. I'm sorry!!!! It has been entirely too long, I know. My focus has been pulled into a million directions in the last month, but I am finally regaining focus and motivation.

Now to catch everyone up on my life...

As I mentioned above, I'm at a turning point with my efforts and focus in life. I'm really trying to put my all into a few things that are centered around furthering my future career. I'm cutting out all of the noise and distractions of meaningless clubs and activities. Not to say I'm quitting the things that I love. I will continue to play music and tutor kids (I totally just realized I haven't written about LITE. It's a literacy program I'm involved in and I tutor a precious little girl named Ali once a week. I love it), but I have a new perspective for my future endeavors. I know that I want communications to be my life. I absolutely LOVE it. I wake up in the morning craving my daily dose of newspapers and the Today show. I walk into my MassCom class eager to learn the basic fundamentals of all that is communications. Like dad has always said, I was born with ink in my blood.

All of this leads me to my fantastic news of my acceptance into SEC (Student Executive Council). It is a group of 12 students from the College of C&IS who work to promote unity and service between the students and faculty within our school, the campus, and the community; somewhat of an ambassadorial/service oriented body. I was one of 20 interviewed and 12 chosen. I am very proud of this accomplishment as are my roommates (my acceptance letter is highlighted and stuck to our refrigerator). I'm excited to see where I go within the organization.

I am also in the process of applying to be a contributing (possibly, hopefully, even a staffed) writer for the Crimson White. I should have done this a long time ago, but I didn't for fear of failure. I can't resist it anymore, though. My desire to write and report is too strong to stifle any longer! Many people waste their time online on Facebook and playing games. My biggest form of distraction? News blogs and blogs for journalists. I can't get enough of it. I love learning about the world around me. I'm essentially a talking newspaper for my roommates, and it is a role I love to take on. It would be an infinitesimally greater joy to be a news source for the campus. I'm hoping this works out.

I just got off of Spring Break. It was a pretty good break, nothing of too much significance to report on. I went to the beach a couple of times, but overall it was simply too cold and windy. I spent a lot of time with my family. I did spend time with friends. I love them all very, very much, but it is easy to see how things are slowly changing. The growing pains of becoming adults are starting to take effect. I know that my future is not in Baldwin County. After I leave UA, I will go to grad school and move on. It's a strange feeling to go 'home' and have it feel like a vacation spot. Outside of the house with my family, it doesn't feel like home anymore. I think this is a coping mechanism within me making it easier to move away. It's crazy and cool how every time I go back to Baldwin County I learn a little bit more about myself. College thus far has been an amazing experience. My first year is almost over. It's flying by even faster than high school did. I think this realization is part of my push in motivation and focus. I want to take advantage of everything and not waste a single moment.

I did not realize how difficult it would be to go back to class after the week of nothing. While I was ready to get back on campus to be with my Tuscaloosa family, I was not ready to start studying for my math and geography tests. I looked at my calendar yesterday and realized that April is a longer and scarier February. I only have six weeks left, but I have to get more accomplished in those six weeks than the past twelve. It will be a challenge, but I've never been one to shy away. I do my best work under pressure and deadlines. I suppose it's the journalist in me coming out again. :)

I could go on and on about all of these things, but I think this one is long enough already. Gotta get ready for class anyway.

Check.

Last night my friend Ashley called me at the last minute to go to an informational meeting about the Crimson Belles and Beaus. I really didn't want to go, but it sounded like a really great resume builder. Thank goodness I did go. The organization sounds amazing and I'm really hoping I can make it through the interviews. However, this is not the main reason I am so stoked. As I walked into the side doors of Mal Moore Athletic Complex, I turned to go up the stairs and saw a man coming down. It took a few moments to adjust my eyes in the low lighting to realize...I was staring at Nicholas Saban himself. I do believe I almost had a heart attack. Ashley didn't realize who it was at first, but he pause in his seemingly important conversation to say hello to us. My week life has been made. I met Nick Saban. Check that off the Bucket List.

Snow Day.

February 12, 2010 was a snow day in Tuscaloosa. It was very fun, but short-lived as the frozen precipitation melted as it touched the ground. Nevertheless, we found ways to entertain ourselves with makeshift sleds, parking lot snowball fights (the biggest accumulation as atop the cars), and 'dirty' snowmen. Roll tide.

Wow.

Another reason for me to be incredibly happy I didn't rush and become a SoHo.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/mean-girl-fashion-and-beauty-rules-at-cornell-sorority-no-mustaches-or-muffin-tops-636982/

Time.

I have recently realized the immense value of time. It's getting to the point of needing to remember to schedule time to eat and sleep. That's why there has been zero activity on the blog for a week or so. Let's see if I can catch everyone up...

Well, my birthday was January 27. I stayed up until midnight. My friends sang 'Happy Birthday' to me...and I cried. I went in my room, grabbed my tshirt quilt and scrapbook, and cried. I missed my brothers and my parents. This was my first birthday away from home. It was also my last teenage birthday. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it seems so strange to me. I'm not old, but my childhood is officially behind me. It's such a bittersweet realization. I'm growing up--faster than ever, it seems. My birthday itself was a fairly mediocre day. I wasn't down and depressed all day, it just didn't feel right. Then...mom surprised me and came to have lunch with me!!! It was much needed and wonderful. I feel so fortunate to be

able to go to such an amazing university, but still be close enough to go home to see my family. I am also extremely blessed to have a mother that would drive four hours, have lunch and shop, then drive four hours home. I know everyone says they have the best mom in the world, but I can honestly say that my mother is an exceptionally wonderful and awe-inspiring woman. I don't know anyone more selfless than her (except God and maybe Mother Theresa). She has a heart comparable to none other. I hope to one day be half the woman she is. She amazes me everyday with everything she does. I cannot even begin to stress to you how serious I am. My mother is legit, THE best person I know. I love her so much.

OK. Onto the Birthday Weekend. My wonderful friends and I went to Birmingham to the Cheesecake Factory and to go ice skating. Cheesecake Factory was amazing, of course, and the birthday cheesecake was precious. After all of the sadness of being away from home, I realized that I have two homes now. The people I have in Tuscaloosa hold such a large and precious

place in my heart. I seriously doubt anyone has had a freshman experience like this. I walked into college and instantly had 15 close friends. I have a family here that I love so much. The gifts they gave me were fantastic, not because they were extravagant or anything, but because they were the most thoughtful I have ever received. I even got a card that said Happy Birthday Champ. I'm pretty sure it was for a 5-year-old boy, but it was so perfect. The signatures were never the cliche, "Happy Birthday! Hope your day is great!" They all were way more meaningful. It may sound stupid, but I'm just realizing that these people are the people I will forever remember. These are my future bridesmaids and adopted brothers. It makes the homesickness fade. I don't stop missing my family, but it doesn't hurt as much. I am so fortunate and blessed.

Thank you my mother for being an inspiring example.

Thank you to my amazing friends/family in Tuscaloosa. Thank you God for blessing me beyond my wildest expectations. Thanks for everything that makes me smile.

Don't Pay Attention to This One.

This is going to be an ongoing list of memorable quotes from my friends and me. Too many funny things have gone on undocumented. Well, never again, my friends, never again.

"I don't appreciate child molesters!"

"I do....ladies...."

"Wait...how do you...spell molesters?"

"Snaps is the name of the game. The name of the game is snaps..."

"My poor kids. I'm gonna spoil them so bad I'll have to beat it out of them."

*Insert Luke's laugh*

"Is that...*swan point*"

"Kelvin, how many people have you touched inappropriately today?"

"In-a propro. In-In-a propro."

"STOP! Don't touch me there..."

"Oh, Canada."

"Stop, don't touch me there, this is my OHNO square..."

"Let's go NoNo!!!"

"IT'S OOOHHH NO!"

"Hey, in case you didn't know, that was you...failing."

"False start...."

"Was it the Asians? They always be false startin'"

"That cat hated my grandmother."

"Duh-na-na-na-na."

"How you poke someone? I wanna poke her."

"I don't listen to the lyrics. Music's like a Big Mac meal...nobody wants the fries, but they come with it."

"DECEMBAAAAHHH..."

......

"OCTOBAAAAHHHH..."

"100 songs?"

Today was a Better Day

Started my day with psychology which just made it awesome. I LOVE that class.

Made a 100 on my English test on Huckleberry Finn. Good stuff.

Geography lab=DUMB. Easy, but DUMB.

Got to take a little nappy-nap.

REALLY GOOD NEWS! My headaches are going away. :D

I'm sitting here doing homework intermittently and listening to Brynn and Melissa do their Calc homework. Notable quotes: "Man, I love findin

g derivatives." "I'm doing great with units." "Math just makes me so happy."

Engineers are so weird. Haha.

And the gem of discoveries today....*drumroll*

Awesome right? Even better....they print shirts of them.

Happy birthday to me?

DEAR GOD,

make me a bird so I can fly, far, far away.

This week is too long. Today was too much. I don't do drama. I can't get enough church. I can't sleep. I'm exhausted. I want my mom.

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of you hands. Psalm 138:8

Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. Ephesians 6:7

Don't be impatient for the Lord to act! Travel steadily along His path. Psalm 37:34

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3

HE FILLS MY LIFE WITH GOOD THINGS. Psalm 103:5

YOU CHART THE PATH AHEAD OF ME AND TELL ME WHERE TO STOP AND REST. EVERY MOMENT YOU KNOW WHERE I AM. Psalm 139:3

First Alabama Basketball Game...

So THAT'S what it feels like to lose. NOW I remember!!! Thanks for conditioning me Robertsdale! No, but really, it was an awesome experience. Lots of fun. Though I still fail to see the necessity in the scantily clad "dancers" (AKA skankier versions of cheerleaders). But, hey, maybe that's just me. Haha. Still supporting my Crimson Tide. I am no fair weather fan. Thanks for conditioning me Boston!!! hahahahaha

Time for math. And then a real treat....I bought the Hurt Locker. I've been dying to watch it all day. BY THE WAY! My day started at 445 with a workout. It was splendid. Then I ran by the river this afternoon. I feel wonderful. :D

Mwen gen konfyans nan Bondye, mwen pa pè anyen. Kisa lèzòm ka fè mwen?

The title of this post is Psalms 56:11 in Haitian:

"In God I trust. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

I didn't include this in the previous post because it was already lengthy and chunky. So here are other thoughts....

The situation in Haiti has absolutely baffled me. I am so so SO amazed. Every time I watch the news, of course, Haiti is featured. I see the images of destruction and despair, but never have I seen a loss of hope or faith. It strikes me as so inspiring to see demolished buildings in the background, and people praising God in the foreground. These people had nothing to begin with and have lost even that, yet they continue to praise Him! Each and every survivor that is interviewed attributes their life to the glory of God. Many are missionaries, yes, but even more are Haitian natives, singing hymns in French and Creole. How incredible is it that in a country known for poverty and violence, the people praise God in the midst of their storm. How incredible is it that God has used this tragedy as advertising! That's some good PR work going on up in heaven! This terrible situation could have resulted in people cursing God, wondering where He is, but that is not the case at all. People are praising Him for supporting them though it all and for giving second chances. I have never heard the Lord's name on the news as much as I have in this past week. Newscasters cannot do anything about it because it is the journalistic FACT. These people have nothing, but everything. They are proclaiming his name in the midst of destruction. How can anyone doubt or disown God now? After seeing these images of faith enduring in the most horrible of situations, how can one justify turning away from God?

It's incredible.

The Line Between Self-Preservation and Selfishness

My drive back to Tuscaloosa after MLK Jr. weekend turned out to be a four-hour-long God moment. There was a lot of traffic on I-10 so I decided to take the causeway. When I stopped at the light, there was a homeless man. He wasn't old or particularly nasty or sketchy. He looked like a guy that had a genuine stroke of bad luck. I felt like I should give him my McDonald's cheeseburger and extra bottle of water, but I couldn't bring myself to roll down the window. I kept thinking about the risk involved. He could be a drug addict or crazy man. He could try to carjack, rob, or hurt me. By the time I processed everything in my head, the light turned green and I went on my way. It broke my heart. I called my mom to tell her of the incident, and she convinced me that I had made the right decision and I was right to continue on for the sake of my safety. I agreed, but at the same moment, I felt so selfish.

Nothing in life is guaranteed. Nothing is without risk. You can almost be guaranteed that nothing God prompts you to do is without risk. There is always an element of sacrifice. If I were to go to Uganda on a missions trip, would I not be putting my life in the same kind of risk as if I had rolled down my window for the homeless man? It is a shame how cynical and jaded our world has become. It is harder to do the right thing not because we do not know what the right thing is, but because we have been taken advantage of or hurt. There is a fine line between self-preservation and inadvertent selfishness, and it is a daily struggle to maintain that balance. It's so hard to have a heart for the broken, but a head from the misused. My logic argues with my soul all of the time. To be truly selfless, you must give up yourself. Right? Crucified with Christ, all of that. Does this mean that we move as we feel, regardless of impending danger? I'm not saying to be reckless. I'm talking about situations such as the one I had with that homeless man. I have seen other homeless people before and known there was nothing I could do for them. Their problems went much deeper than thirst or hunger, and my intervention could result in harm to myself or others. In those situations, I believe self preservation prevails. But in my case, I felt differently. Helping this man was more attainable, but because of previous opinions and stories, I was too scared to try. I don't know if any of this makes sense. It's very hard to put into words exactly how I felt.

I'm going to make it even more confusing now. I found it interesting that even though I didn't take the opportunity and help the man, he still blessed me. How? Are you reading this blog? 5 seconds at a green light turned into nearly 4 hours of introspection. All because of that homeless man, I analyzed myself and my willingness to be truly selfless and help others. It inspired me to purge myself more of things that shouldn't be within me. It was a God moment.

So, because of this, I feel confident that someone came along that was able to help him, possibly even in a greater capacity than I could have. That man blessed me, so in turn, someone must have blessed him. I know God won't let him go unnoticed. I just know.

Sorry if this blog was pointless and went nowhere. It was just a big thing for me that I had to write about so I can come back to it.

Haiti

Praying for all of those in and affected by the earthquake in Haiti. It's times like these when I wish I could just pick up and go there to help.

The Taste of Life

Today was the first day of classes for spring semester of my freshman year. First, I have to give another huge Roll Tide. Campus is still all abuzz with the National Championship excitement. The bus marquises scroll with congratulatory exclamations, a HUGE Big Al stands in the plaza, and roses are on every sweatshirt. Our fight song tells us to remember the Rose Bowl, boy do we ever. I love Alabama football. There is nothing like it.

I don't know why, but I just have such a great feeling about the coming months. When I drove onto campus, my iPod was on shuffle, and the fight song came on. I drove down Hackberry and felt at home. I missed this place. Then I got to my dorm and everyone came to help me unload my things, but not until my interim big-brother Kelvin ran, picked me up and spun me around. I missed these people.

I'm anticipating great things, whatever they may be! I just am very excited to see what this semester holds for me. I'm ready to get the ball rolling. My math class is taught by an Indian woman, no surprise there. We'll see how it goes. If you know me at all, you know that I do not care for math or science...I am an English/History buff. Which brings me to my next point....

I walked into Reese Phifer (the Communications building) for my Mass Com 101 class, and I fell in love. I've been in the building before, but now I go to class there. I have a purpose there. I BELONG there. It was such a God moment. As I walked up the beautiful stairs and entered the rotunda, I just got an overwhelming sense of confirmation. I just KNOW this is where I am supposed to be. It felt so wonderful. I sat down in MC101 and instantly loved the fact that my professor spoke my language flawlessly; not just the English language, but the writer/communication language. There was no unnecessary vocabulary or explanation. It was to the point. Perfect. Just the facts ma'am, just the facts.

Pretty soon my life will revolve around that building. I'm starting to get a taste of what life will be like, and I must say, life tastes so good.

Too Much of my Life is Going Undocumented!!!

I keep forgetting about blogging!!! So much has been happening in my life! I just got back from Los Angeles and having the time of my life. My roommate Brass lives in Pasadena, dad had Skymiles, so virtually all I had to pay for were souvenirs. It all worked out so perfectly. I spent New Year's Eve in LA.

I went to the Rose Parade which was AMAZING. I watch it every year on TV and finally made it there to see it live. It was so beautiful. It's so cool to see the ideas people come up with for the enormous floats made of organic materials.

I went to Santa Monica Pier . I just love the Pacific Ocean. It is so beautiful. Very different from the Gulf here. Of course, the pier itself was a wonderful place for people watching. It's a different world there!!!

I went to Disneyland for the second time. Although this time I was older and able to see beyond the illusions, I think it was even more magical. I think I really didn't see beyond the illusions, I saw the magnificence of them. I saw the joy it brought people and how it mystified children. It was still Christmastime in Disneyland which made it even more magical. Sleeping Beauty's castle was dripping with icicle lights and Main Street began with an enormous Christmas tree. The Haunted Mansion was decked out like The NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!! One of my favorite movies. At the end of the day, there were fireworks. I think the show is one of the most spectacular things I've seen in my life. It was amazing. It really took me back to the magic of childhood and the beauty of Walt Disney's dream. Disneyland truly is one of the happiest and most magical places in the world. It's incredible what they do.

I experienced downtown LA and Olvera Street, the Hispanic version of Chinatown, for lack of better words. It was very cool and the food was so genuine and wonderful! I had taquitos with avocado sauce and horchata. Muy Muy delicioso!!!

And of course it was just awesome to visit Hollywood! It's so interesting to see how you react in celebrity situations. I've always said, "I'm not 'that girl' who screams and shakes and passes out when she sees a famous person." But you never really know how to react until you are in that situation. I actually did get really excited and speechless just seeing where places were filmed. Guess I'm still just getting to know myself! I got to drive down a road where the filming of a TV show was in process. I saw the Cinderella Story house, the place where the Office wedding was filmed, multiple houses in commercials, Mr. and Mrs.Smith house, and downtown Hollywood. Grauman's Chinese theatre, the handprints and stars, the Hollywood sign; it all seemed so surreal!!! *Sidenote--Hollywood at nighttime....SUPER interesting...hahaha

I went to a taping of the Price is Right!!! It was so cool!!! I was amazed at how small the studio was. No pictures from that because they take your camera AND cell phone away from you before you go in. They are super strict about the whole thing.

SO. In telling you all of this you would think, "Oh cool, she went to sightsee and visit her friend in LA." Well, yes and no. I did want to sightsee and visit, but my main motivation for making the trek to Pasdena was more than just a pleasure trip. It was a pilgrimage. I was following my boys--The Crimson Tide-in their quest for domination and victory. Being a measly freshman, I had no ticket to the game. I would never set foot inside of the Rose Bowl. However, I sat on a couch only a few miles away cheering my boys to victory. I cringed every time McElroy was sacked. I nearly had heart attack in the first quarter. I felt horrible for McCoy. I nearly cried when Dareus scored a touchdown. I yelled all of the cheers and sang the fight song every time we scored. I looked for my friends on TV. I cried when we WON. I laughed when the gatorade dump happened. I screamed, jumped, danced, ran. It was incredible.

This wasn't just a football team I liked winning a huge game. It was much more than that. It's people I go to school with. It's people who love crimson and houndstooth as much as I do fighting to show that we belong at the top.

At some places, they play football...at Alabama, we live it.

This is Alabama football. ROLL TIDE!!!!!!