FREE FALLiN'

Yesterday, July 24, 2009, I went skydiving.
I cannot describe to you the exhilirating feeling you get from the free fall. It is absolutely incredible! Even though I received a nice road rash on my calf from the rough landing, and bruises on my thighs from the harness catching, I want to go back and do it again, hopefully to get certified.

It is definitely something that everyone should experience once in their lives. It's not just the incredible adrenaline rush; it's the freedom, the weightlessness, just falling at 140mph, then drifting softly to the ground. It is so cool and quiet up there. No wonder the birds sing. There was a man there going for a dive; his picture was on the wall---from 1946. He is 89 years old and has jumped over 2,000 times--and is still doing it and kicking. I want to be that kind of older person. I think being 'old' isn't really a matter of your age, it's a matter of your attitude. I want to live life to the fullest. I believe that the greatest risk in life is the one you never take. Life is a great adventure or nothing at all. We only have so long on this planet, and I, for one, want to experience as much of it as I possibly can.

People asked me if I was scared out of my mind. My answer? Absolutely not--until they opened the door. I had mild butterflies, but I think that was mostly from drinking a Red Bull on a empty stomach (it gives you wings...get it? haha). When they yelled and opened the door to go, shock hit me and I hesitated before taking the first step to the ledge. But I thought to myself, when I am older, heck even tomorrow, won't I want to be able to tell people that I took the jump? I was not going to come all this way and be conquered by fear. I dove into the air and surrendered to gravity for a terrifyingly amazing 5500 feet free fall and 4500 feet canopy drift. And today, I was able to tell my story, my face beaming.

I want to be the person who lives with no regrets and dies with no bucket list full of unaccomplished dreams and goals. Adventure, excitment, and unique experiences await, and I won't let anything hold me back. Gravity couldn't keep me on the ground, fear couldn't keep me on the sidelines. I won't be a spectator or a fan, I'm going to be the person out there doing it all, living it up, and sharing the stories. I want to be that 89 year old man taking another jump and loving every moment.

A year or so ago, if you told my I would go skydiving, I would have laughed. Spontenaity and risk were definitely not in my vocabulary. But one day, I woke up and realized that my time is now. Every second that ticks away can never be lived again. There are no re-do's. There is no rewind button. You live it up, or wait it out. How can you live on this planet and just sit?

It's out there for you. It's waiting for you to enjoy. Get out there and experience it. What is 'it'? I don't know. The 'it' is different for everyone. Find your 'it'. Pursue your 'it'. DO your 'it'.

Amazon Bookstore

freedom in exile, dalai lahma--0.96
maximizing study abroad--10.84
ghandi,an autobiography--10.20
fragrant palm leaves, journals 1962-1966--5.90
tu diras, martinez-lage--55.00
experience music, charlton--14.99
shipping--20.93

yay amazon for college books!!! ridiculously cheaper than the bookstore.

This World is a Harmless Enigma...

"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."
- Umberto Eco

So this quote is like 100% true. People around the world are constantly trying to understand everything in the world. There are aways test being done to figure out all of the underlying mysteries and secrets of the Earth. But maybe they were meant to be left a mystery. Myabe the whole world and life as we know it is like one big magic trick. If you know how it is done and you understand all of the secrets and mechanics of how it works, then there is no more magic or amazement left. No more element of surprise, nothing new left to discover or wonder about. The magic trick has been spoiled. Because the magic is not in the knowing how it works. The magic is in having no idea how the magician does it and letting yourself be amazed. Maybe we've been going about life the wrong way. It's not meant to be solved or understood totally 100%. We're not supposed to understand the unknown, we're supposed to accept the unknown. Just know that it will always be there to amaze us. Don't look at the sunset in a scientific way, just be amazed by its beauty as it streaks across the sky. Granted, we have been blessed with amazing mindpower and that knowledge and ability to learn should be put to use, but to a different extent. New discoveries and understandings of our world have brought us many good things, such as medication and inventions, but many bad things as well, such has weapons of mass destruction and biochemical warfare. So what is gained? It seems as though the positive and negative balance each other out. I love learning new things and putting my new knowledge to use, but I also love jsut to sit back and realize how infinite the universe is and how I will never be able to have a grasp of the most miniscule part of it. That is what life is about. Realizing how large it is and how small, in comparison, we are to it, yet how we can make such a big difference.

That is amazing. That is life. Stop thinking, sit back, and be amazed

Scars

So, from the depths of my ever circulating thoughts comes my newest entry. Heard a song at church that really clicked with me...here's a little bit...

I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then
I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free
Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar
Don't let me forget Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget The beauty in the suffering

You might not see it, but I find these lyrics so profound and amazing. We constantly face battles and struggles, be they against ourselves, others, or forces unseen. Whether you are a Christian or not, this is true. But as Christians, we turn to God and most ask, "God heal me and let me forget. Take it all away, I don't want to ever see it again." We somewhat go Men in Black style and change our whole identity, forgetting who we were and where we came from. Why on Earth would you ask for that??? If you totally erase everything bad from your memory or pretend it never happened, what have you to show for your growth as a Christian? Where is the testimony in never struggling? Then I delve more into my thinking....let's go back in time, 3 days after the crucifixion...Jesus comes back and goes into a room with his disciples. They don;t even recognize....until he shows them his scars. Thomas also has to be shown the scars upon his later inrtoduction.

"Jesus came and stood among them and said, 'Peace be with you,'...he showed them his hands and his side." John 20:20

What a misconception people have of Christianity. If you are a Christian, you have to be totally happy and perfect all of the time. Not true. Jesus...this amazing sinless being, conquered death and returned triumphantly, and still had scars. How can we expect to make it through life unscathed? How will others believe in us if we have no scars to show our journey? How will we learn form our mistakes if no remniders are left?? It's like a kid who hits his chin on a table and gets stitches, or gets a burn from touching a really hot stove. There is a scar left, and thet child sees it and knows, better not do that again. Being a Christian doesn't mean altering your brain to deny the pain, reality, or existence of your past hurts, it only allows you to live with it while pursuing something better. This also shouldn't be taken as "wallowing in self-pity". WHen you talk about your scars, you don't complain about it. Much like Jesus, they are a part of who you are, and people identify with it. It's hard to be helped by someone who has never been through nything. It's ahrd to relate any struggles to a perfect person. The only way someone can be truly healed is by coming in contact with a wounded healer.

A pastor speaking of a conversation with a church friend and her son..."Nearly lost him during the first six weeks of his life. They had him in Duke Hospital putting the oxygen to him as the little thing hung between life and death. I prayed to God the whole time. Told God that, if he lived, I would dedicate him to God. He's got a scar to this day on his heel where they fed him those six weeks in the hospital. Right on his heel. I look upon that scar as God's mark. When he was a little boy, I'd point to that scar on his heel and say, 'See that? It's a sign that God's got plans for you. You've been saved, set apart by God.' He's got the scar to prove it. He's a gift."
The "Big Guy" also has scars, to prove his love for you. If you don't know him, like Thomas, if you aren't sure that you believe, he'll graciously show you his scars "that you might believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name" (Jn. 20:31). "


I think this was a good one. I like it. If you don't, it's cool. Thanks for reading anyway. It's just a huge part of who I am, and this epiphany was too good not to share.