Scars

So, from the depths of my ever circulating thoughts comes my newest entry. Heard a song at church that really clicked with me...here's a little bit...

I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then
I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free
Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar
Don't let me forget Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget The beauty in the suffering

You might not see it, but I find these lyrics so profound and amazing. We constantly face battles and struggles, be they against ourselves, others, or forces unseen. Whether you are a Christian or not, this is true. But as Christians, we turn to God and most ask, "God heal me and let me forget. Take it all away, I don't want to ever see it again." We somewhat go Men in Black style and change our whole identity, forgetting who we were and where we came from. Why on Earth would you ask for that??? If you totally erase everything bad from your memory or pretend it never happened, what have you to show for your growth as a Christian? Where is the testimony in never struggling? Then I delve more into my thinking....let's go back in time, 3 days after the crucifixion...Jesus comes back and goes into a room with his disciples. They don;t even recognize....until he shows them his scars. Thomas also has to be shown the scars upon his later inrtoduction.

"Jesus came and stood among them and said, 'Peace be with you,'...he showed them his hands and his side." John 20:20

What a misconception people have of Christianity. If you are a Christian, you have to be totally happy and perfect all of the time. Not true. Jesus...this amazing sinless being, conquered death and returned triumphantly, and still had scars. How can we expect to make it through life unscathed? How will others believe in us if we have no scars to show our journey? How will we learn form our mistakes if no remniders are left?? It's like a kid who hits his chin on a table and gets stitches, or gets a burn from touching a really hot stove. There is a scar left, and thet child sees it and knows, better not do that again. Being a Christian doesn't mean altering your brain to deny the pain, reality, or existence of your past hurts, it only allows you to live with it while pursuing something better. This also shouldn't be taken as "wallowing in self-pity". WHen you talk about your scars, you don't complain about it. Much like Jesus, they are a part of who you are, and people identify with it. It's hard to be helped by someone who has never been through nything. It's ahrd to relate any struggles to a perfect person. The only way someone can be truly healed is by coming in contact with a wounded healer.

A pastor speaking of a conversation with a church friend and her son..."Nearly lost him during the first six weeks of his life. They had him in Duke Hospital putting the oxygen to him as the little thing hung between life and death. I prayed to God the whole time. Told God that, if he lived, I would dedicate him to God. He's got a scar to this day on his heel where they fed him those six weeks in the hospital. Right on his heel. I look upon that scar as God's mark. When he was a little boy, I'd point to that scar on his heel and say, 'See that? It's a sign that God's got plans for you. You've been saved, set apart by God.' He's got the scar to prove it. He's a gift."
The "Big Guy" also has scars, to prove his love for you. If you don't know him, like Thomas, if you aren't sure that you believe, he'll graciously show you his scars "that you might believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name" (Jn. 20:31). "


I think this was a good one. I like it. If you don't, it's cool. Thanks for reading anyway. It's just a huge part of who I am, and this epiphany was too good not to share.