I must be honest. A lot has happened in my life...I think that's why I've been putting off the update edition for so long...
Well, as my freshman year of college is coming to a close, I am left to ponder the great questions of life: which beach will I spend my time at? Which movies do I want to see this summer? Exactly how late will I allow myself to sleep in?
Lies. All lies.
I really am facing some tough questions and epiphanies. Internships, jobs, freelance writing...it's all very overwhelming. I need experience, and I need money. A job this summer is not optional since I need to save up for Ireland in the spring. (I cannot believe that is less than one year away...holy cow) I'm sending my resume everywhere. Hopefully my dedication to the search will pay off. I want to freelance this summer. I need to build up my portfolio. I may job shadow with the BayBears for a few days (Pensacola Pelicans never called back about the internship...I figure it's just as well. I have more time to make more money and do other things.)
Those are some of the tough questions. Now onto the juicy, meaty stuff: the epiphanies.
1.) Home. This is a very relative and almost foreign term to me now. Home is where the heart is never made sense until now. I also know that my heart is in two places. It's hard to balance. Loxley isn't home anymore. My house and family are home, but Loxley is not. I love the beach. I love Baldwin County. Growing up there was a great experience that I am happy to have had. But in all honesty, there is nothing there for me considering what I want to do with my life. Tuscaloosa is semi-home. It's where I live my life. It's where my friends are. It's where I spend 9 months out of the year. However, after college, this is not where I will be. It's a strange, strange feeling. It's like I'm just living wherever the wind blows me.
2.) Friends. I now put a new definition beside this term. I live with my best friends. They are my family. The love and loyalty we have for each other is incredible. I cannot compare them with the old friends from back home. It's a totally different situation and a comparison isn't even fair. I don't know how I'm going to handle going back to Loxley. It's going to be a very emotional day when I leave T-town. I'm sure I will be fine this summer. I haven't divorced my old friends. They'll be there like always, but these days, all the old friends are growing up. As we grow up, we go in different directions. It's how life goes. I'm not really close with them anymore. We've all changed. I'm experiencing more of life as are they. I really don't know how things are going to go. I'm not depressed, I'm just growing up and apart from the old days. I'm talking in circles and I don't want any friends from home to be upset by this. It's growing pains. we all still love each other and I'm sure we'll hang out just like old times. But over the previous breaks you could already tell the difference in all of us. I'm not choosing my T-town friends over you. I'm not replacing you. These things just happen as you grow up. That's the best way I know how to put it. We will always be friends-we just won't always be the same.
3.) Growing up. Painful. Exciting. Amazing. Crappy. Necessary. Slow. Fast. All of these things combined are what I'm feeling-at once. College is amazing. These ARE the best years of my life and I intend on living them to the fullest and taking advantage of every opportunity I get. Sometimes I seem all over the place. I don't want to miss anything. I want to live with no regrets. At my funeral, I want there to be no stone left unturned. I want to do it, live it, experience it all. Skydive, cliff jump, watch a movie outside, study on the quad, road trip, baseball games, football games, swim meets, make friends, lose friends, love, heartbreak, explore, adventure, write, take too many pictures, laugh too loud, run down the halls, swim at night. This is what college is about. I'm trying it all. Trial and error. The end result will be me in my purest and rawest form. Me will be awesome.
Geeeeeeez. I've got to stop rambling. Really quickly, here's the headline newsfeed update of the details of my life:
-Pickett hired on as Crimson White Photographer/Contributing Writer
-A-Day Game is a Smash
Students Realize their Passion for the Game and Love for their School
-The Agonizing Duty of Being a Red Sox Fan Begins
-Champ Survives Hardest Week of College Career
Averaging 4 hours of sleep a night, she aces the tests and makes the grades
-Spring Retreat in Destin Results in Spiritual Growth and Tanlines
Aight. It's lunch time people. Peace out.
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