Enough

So I've been dealing with the lonely factor a lot lately. I've realized how shy I really am and how much it hinders me form meeting new people. I felt lost in the shuffle of 30,000 people. I miss my friends that I was so comfortable with. I could talk about anything, just be me in my pj's and messy hair. I miss that. I love my roommates and all of them, but I just don't feel like I'm to that point with them. And then there's the whole dating thing. Ugh. I have no time, and I do not want a serious relationship at all, but I just miss the guaranteed companionship and closeness. I don't know. It's just been really hard.

Then I went to the Well tonight. We were singing How He Loves Us:

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,And how great Your affect

ions are for me.

Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

And it was like, I was standing there in front of God begging him. Why can't you just provide for me those people I miss? Why do I feel so alone? And for the first time ever, it was like I heard Him in my head, "Am I not enough?" BAM! I have been so focused on finding my connections I have just missed everything around me, the biggest thing being God. He is totally enough. Why haven't I seen this and leaned on him and not my own understanding? I know this. I've been taught this. I've heard it over and over and over. I guess I just grew numb to it.

Talk about looking for love in all the wrong places. Geez. The answer was right there on my nightstand in this awesome book I too often neglect.